You might not believe this…
But it is true… unfortunately.
My fieldwork educator called me fat and also mocked me for the foods I ate.
And honestly these words broke me.
I was in a setting that I was completely unfamiliar with, working with populations that I had never worked with before. I was stressed with the demands of fieldwork and also dealing with personal lyfe stressors on top of that.
I definitely wasn’t at my healthiest during this rotation and knew it.
But hearing these words from someone who was a mentor and clinical supervisor to me absolutely crushed me.
I felt deflated. I felt undervalued because of my looks. I felt hurt that someone I trusted said that to me.
It was hard to pick myself up off the floor. It was hard to process the feelings and emotions I was feeling. It was hard to continue to do the work I was expected to do while on fieldwork.
But I did.
Although it was hard, I still did.
And I write this to tell you that you can too.
Like I said in a previous post, fieldwork is hard.
But it’s even harder when your supervisor calls you something that they shouldn’t. It is harder when they mock you or make fun of you. It’s so much harder when you feel like you need to constantly prove yourself because of your looks.
But it is doable.
I don’t know how I did it, but I did.
So I hope this hasn’t happened to you, but if it has, know that I get it and went through it.
These words do not define you.
And if you need someone to talk to, know that I am here. Feel free to reach out to me if you have experienced something similar. You can comment below or shoot me a dm if you want to keep it private.